


I'm A Fool (For You)

by baeconandeggs, dxndelixns



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Plot time jump, Romance, courting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-19 22:44:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18979858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/dxndelixns/pseuds/dxndelixns
Summary: For Chanyeol, Baekhyun was endgame.





	I'm A Fool (For You)

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:** BAE950  
>  **Disclaimer: baeconandeggs/the mods is/are not the author/s of this story. Authors will be credited and tagged after reveals.** The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
>   

**March 16, 2018**

When did Baekhyun become so insensitive? Chanyeol could not believe his ears when he heard what Baekhyun had to say.

"I don't want us anymore."

It took him three years to say that. Three years. For a while, Chanyeol thought that things were going well. Too well, in fact, that he had decided to buy a ring and propose this very night. The tall guy looks stricken, but his companion looks well. Too well.

"And then what?" Chanyeol snapped, his fist hitting the table. Baekhyun jumped a little, but stared at the taller guy directly. "You run around for a couple of years, then we meet again, and I'll let you in my life again, and then after three years you'll walk out. Baek, can't you see? We're running in circles, so please, let's stop the chase." Chanyeol pleaded his case. He was tired, truthfully, of having to chase the one that he loved most in this world. Baekhyun was endgame. That was how sure Chanyeol was, that was why he was so willing to go round and round and round.

"Then let's stop!" Baekhyun replied, shouting and standing up. "If you don't want to then stop. I didn't ask for you to chase me anyway."

The younger of the two took a deep breath. He could not believe what was happening to the two of them right now, and at the same time berating himself over how stupid he could be. "I chose to stay with you, be with you, let you be, accept you for every and any damn reason you might have leaving, because I love you. You know that right?" Chanyeol calmly replied. "We can't always be like this. I have to know whether or not you're willing to stick it out with me." Inside he was raging, the fire within wanting to come out. He wanted to shout to Baekhyun, tell him how much sh*t he had to put up through with his friends all against the one he loves, to his family almost disowning him the moment he opened that he was Baekhyun's boyfriend— again. Chanyeol wanted to punch something, anything. He instead took out the box from his back pocket and placed it in front of him and Baekhyun, waiting for a response. What he only got was an unimpressed stare.

However, inside Baekhyun brew a different story. He wanted, so badly, to hold Chanyeol's hand, say yes and live with him and love him for the rest of his damn life, but he knew that he couldn't. Baekhyun craved the game of being courted, the game of push and pull. The chase excited him to no end— the sleepless nights drowning in conversation, the dates that were always full of surprises, the time spent trying to make one person his. It's not that he didn't want normalcy, though, but when the chase was over he'd lose interest on trying to make the relationship work. If he could chase and be chased by one person only, however, he'd always choose Chanyeol. The tall guy with slightly mismatched eyes and a sweet, caring smile was the only constant he'd want in his life, which was why he gave up the game, the chase, in order to spend his life with the person that wanted to be by his side constantly.

But life works in different ways, doesn't it? The past catches up quickly and it took all the courage Baekhyun had to tell Chanyeol, "I want us to break up." Because he didn't really want to, he just wanted Chanyeol to chase him again. To feel as though he was "free" when in fact his heart has been stolen by the same guy that was chasing him. It wasn't that he wanted freedom, he just wanted the rush that it gave. The high of knowing someone was in love with you, head over heels, that they would deliberately erase all and any sh*t that you've done to them.

He didn't expect Chanyeol to acquiesce the first time, but he did. Baekhyun did it a second time, just to see whether Chanyeol would agree. The third time, he just knew that Chanyeol would accept him back, whenever he felt like it. The constant. Chanyeol was the constant.

He never expected that the fourth time he'd say these words, Chanyeol would put up a fight.

"The moment you step out that door, we're done." Chanyeol coldly says, bringing Baekhyun back to the present. His hand was on the knob, and for a moment he hesitated. This felt so real, too real. He was risking to lose the one thing that was keeping him grounded for a fleeting experience of that high, again. Chanyeol took the hesitance and walked over, one long stride after another. He enveloped Baekhyun in a hug, his lips soft on Baekhyun's head as he whispered:

"Don't go."

Baekhyun leaned back slightly, feeling the beat of Chanyeol's heart— fast and ragged, almost bursting. The thought of Chanyeol constantly chasing him overrode and clouded Baekhyun's judgement, though, and with all his might he wiggled his way out of the hug, opened the door, and walked out.

_ "Smile for me, will you?" _

=====

**April 16, 2019**

It has been one year since his heart has been torn to pieces, and Chanyeol had, at the very least, accepted that he should stop chasing for what he knows couldn't be his anymore, at least. 

The tall guy had ceased all forms of communication to Baekhyun, even going so far as to cease going to places they frequented, where he thinks that other would go. They had to stop the vicious cycle of hurting each other and if that was the only way that he can let himself out, then so be it.

That doesn't mean that he doesn't miss and love Baekhyun, still. On weekends he would wander around his apartment aimlessly and end up on one of the spots that he swore to himself that he wouldn't go back to. On a bench in front of the playground, he'd sit there with his grey sweatshirt and sweatpants, looking at the kids running and laughing about. 

On this particular day he sits on what was their usual spot, his mind lingering on the memories they shared on this very bench— about how they would like kids, about two at the least, since Baekhyun's very fond of them and Chanyeol— well, Chanyeol likes what Baekhyun likes. They would make stories about how their kids would be world-class citizens or how they would have two sons, a spitting image of the two of them but with each other's traits. That would elicit boisterous laughter from the two of them, knowing full well that if that ever happened, the kids would be like Hell unleashed unto the world. But they'd still love them because of course, it's their kids. 

Chanyeol watches one kid in particular, looking around as she sits on the swing by himself. He looks at the other kids who were, in one way or another, looked like they rolled in mud and got up to run again. There was laughter and screams of delight all around but this little boy just watched it all. For some odd reason, Chanyeol had to be beside this kid. He just had to. 

"Mind if I join you?" He asks the little boy who nods. He sits down on the little seat on the swing and starts swinging back and forth with his legs firmly planted on the floor. The kid watches him, unamused.

"You look sad." The child suddenly says.

"Hmm?" Chanyeol says back, unaware of what the kid just said.

"I said, you look sad." The child repeats, slightly annoyed.

Chanyeol looks at the little boy beside him, softly smiling. "I am, you know. Good call."

"Dad says that when someone's sad, we should smile more so that the sad person will also smile." The kid gave him a toothy grin. "I hope this makes you not sad now."

"Thanks, kid." Chanyeol responds, giving a grin of his own. Something about that sentence stuck to him though, and he replays the sentence in his mind. 

_ "We should smile more so that the sad person will also smile." _

_ "We should smile more so that others will, too." _

_ "We should smile more." _

_ "Smile for me?" _

That's what Baekhyun would say. He'd always insist in making Chanyeol smile especially when they've just resolved a fight, everything be damned. The tall guy would always get worked up, Baekhyun would always say what's on his mind every damn time, and they would stand their ground until they run out of energy to do so. Then Baekhyun would always approach first and hug Chanyeol, letting him cool down. Chanyeol would oblige, mainly because he loves it when Baekhyun hugs him, but because he knows— one fight down, forever to go.

"Dad!" The kid beside him says, and Chanyeol snaps into reality. The boy jumps from the swing and starts running towards the guy, while the other feels cold sweat and a shiver run across his back.

"Hey, c'mere champ." Baekhyun says, eyes averting the ones trained onto him. He smiles at the child in front of him, then crouches low to wipe off the sweat from the boy's face. "Had fun?"

"Uh, not really...but I think I made a man smile today, so that's good, right?" The kid says. "Where's mom?"

"She's still at work, so it's just you and me, kid." Baekhyun's smile falters a little bit. Before he could even say anything, however, he feels someone beside them and hesitantly looks up to see Chanyeol staring at him, his gaze unreadable. He's in his favorite grey sweater, the one Baekhyun so wanted to throw in the trash and burn because it's been so used and torn and every time that Baekhyun is reminded of that piece of clothing after their break-up, he almost, very vaguely remembers the smell of Chanyeol. And then he can't sleep again. 

"Baekhyun." Chanyeol's voice is cold.

"H-hey, Chanyeol." Baekhyun's voice is gentle.

"Hi mister!" the kid beside Baekhyun says, all smiles. Chanyeol gives back one then looks at the man in front of him, who looked like he was trying hard not to give a damn when clearly he does. The boy, perhaps sensing the tension, looks at the two. "You know each other?"

"Yep. Wangeun, dear, go play some more— I'll just talk to this guy right here." Baekhyun says. Wangeun nods and runs back to the swing set, where he sits down and looks around again.

"So." Chanyeol wants to scream, he wants to thrash anything and everything he sees, but for some reason sitting beside Baekhyun makes him feel like doing nothing of those things. Instead he settles for cold and quiet, instead of fire and chaos.

Baekhyun breaks the silence. "It's been a while, Chanyeol. How have you been?"

_ "I've never been fine." _

_ "You f*cked me up big-time." _

_ "I want to move on from you. Let me go." _

Of all the things that Chanyeol wanted to say, he settled for "I'm okay. You?"

"You don't look okay, Yeol. Of all people, you don't have to lie to me."

"Then what do you want me to say?" Chanyeol's patience is paper-thin, and the provocation from Baekhyun lit his paper-thin patience on fire. "'I'm not fine'? 'You're always on my mind'?" Chanyeol shouts, frustrated, running his hand through his hair. "You've clearly moved on, and I haven't, so let's leave it at that." Chanyeol stares at him coldly. "Let's try not to see each other again." Taking two steps back, he shakes his head and lets out a sigh, then turns around to walk away.

"Chanyeol, wait— That's not—" Baekhyun tries to call out, even going far as starting to walk toward the other, but he knows that he can't really change Chanyeol's mind, not when he knows what he has done. He sits back down on the bench and covers his face with his hands, taking deep breaths. Wangeun, noticing this, walks toward Baekhyun and places his tiny hand on Baekhyun's knee.

"H-hey, Uncle? What's wrong? Did that man hurt you?" The child asks. Baekhyun shakes his head and with a last deep breath, looks at the child with red-rimmed eyes.

He held Wangeun's hands and looked at them. "Listen, Wangeun— remember what I said about calling me your dad? I thought we talked about this."

"I know, Mom said it already." Wangeun looks at him, eyes all watery and his voice ever so slightly shaking. "You just really look like dad, is all."

"He's my brother, of course I should look like him." Baekhyun lets out a soft smile. "Dad's just away, okay? He'll be back sooner than you think. Now don't cry, let's get you some snacks. You want ice cream?"

"Don't cry, Uncle. And no, I want burgers!" Wangeun says, and holds his uncle's hands. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Baekhyun merely nods and holds Wangeun's hand too, and together they walk away from the park and to the nearest burger joint.

=====

**February 14, 2017**

"Wake up, love." Chanyeol whispers, his voice husky and eyes just slightly opening up. His hair is a mess, shirt halfway up his torso because he's always been a turner while sleeping. Chanyeol nuzzles his nose against Baekhyun's nape as he softly traced skin, leaving soft, butterfly kisses on the trail. His hands roam on the older's arms, hands, fleeting touches of love all around. They settle against Baekhyun's stomach, slightly lifting the shirt as Chanyeol's palm lay flat against it.

Baekhyun wakes up to this and immediately his mind is focused on the now and how he loves to wake up with Chanyeol flush against his back, so he does just that, backing up until he could feel the warmth from the guy next to him. Smiling, he hums, satisfied with what he has and what he has always wanted to have. 

"G'morning, love." Baekhyun turns and barely says, taking Chanyeol's hand in his and kissing it gently. The taller of the two sigh contentedly and they lay there, hands reveling in the art that is each other. They continue their exploration of each other's body; their touches soft and delicate as if afraid to spoil the moment, their soft sighs of contentment and happiness each time they move against each other, and at the end they are undone with the intent of making themselves whole with each other.

Chanyeol watches as Baekhyun lazily puts on a white shirt two sizes too big and walks to the kitchen. I'm so lucky, Chanyeol thinks to himself as he stands up and puts on his shorts, but before he could walk out Baekhyun shouts, "Don't!"

"L-love?" Chanyeol, confused, asks.

"Just stay in bed. Please?"

“Alright, as you say.” Chanyeol climbs back in bed, waiting.

The truth is that Baekhyun had put together an elaborate breakfast in bed for Chanyeol with the help of his trusted friend and chef extraordinaire, Kyungsoo, famous for his YouTube cooking channel. They met up yesterday and had everything in the fridge, ready to be heated up. However, things didn’t go as planned.

“What the f*ck am I supposed to do now?” Baekhyun hurriedly asks over the phone to Kyungsoo, panic seeping in his voice. He forgot one important thing— he was supposed to be making pancakes  _ before  _ Chanyeol was even awake. 

“Don’t you have boxed pancake mix there?” Kyungsoo calmly states, mentally going through the ingredients list and cooking methods that he could make Baekhyun do.

“No, he doesn’t have that here. I checked earlier before I called you. I don’t cook, remember? That’s why I asked you to help me. Oh shoot oh gods what am I going to do Kyungsoo you have to help me!” He says desperately.

“Okay, calm the heck down Baekhyun. Take deep breaths. You’ll have pancakes in a second if you stop screaming down my ear and start listening.” Kyungsoo immediately launches into a step-by-step guide into making pancakes, all while Baekhyun hurriedly does everything he is told to do. After a few mishaps with getting the stove to light, and the shape of the actual pancake, Baekhyun smiles beside a tall stack of pancakes he made, then takes a photo and sends it to Kyungsoo. He heats up the rest of the meal and places them neatly on their respective bowls, then the bowls to the tray he bought specifically for this occasion.

Everything ready and in their best state, he takes the tray and slowly goes back inside the room, eager to have both of them eat breakfast in bed, maybe chill and watch Netflix, maybe continue what they started early in the morning. It’s the weekend, anyway, and they’re not really the kind of couple that goes out that often, instead preferring to stay indoors. 

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun calls out, to no one answering. He tries again, but gets no response whatsoever. When he reaches the door of the bedroom, however, he lets out a small laugh and quietly enters the room with the food as to not wake up the sleeping Chanyeol.

The smaller of the two places the tray on the nearby table and squats on the side of the bed, facing Chanyeol. His hand automatically stretches out to touch his boyfriend’s face, his hands soft and light. He admires how Chanyeol’s face could be so serene when he’s asleep, how his lips slightly open, making his lips more irresistible to kisses and his eyelashes fluttering ever so slightly. Baekhyun revels at how much his heart beats right now, that even though it’s been two years, he is still irrevocably in love with Chanyeol. That he stuck it out this long even though he had doubts with himself whether he could do so with anyone at all. Maybe Chanyeol is the one he’s been looking for all along, he thinks. Maybe Chanyeol really does love him, after all.

He had continuously been going on and off with Chanyeol for some two years before he decided that maybe he could try staying steady with the one person that he knows could take him back again if he messes anything up. So when he was courted again by the other, he didn’t hesitate. He asked the question himself, skipping the courting part he had always wanted, and again became Chanyeol’s boyfriend. There was a nagging thought behind Baekhyun’s mind, however, of how long he could last in this situation before Chanyeol realizes that this has been a big mistake from the beginning and Baekhyun realizing that he has never wanted to be tied down in the first place. But here they are, their second consecutive Valentines, and Baekhyun has not yet felt that fear in his heart again. 

Baekhyun’s chest constricts, the thought slowly creeping in again, and he shoves it back. Instead he prefers to focus on the person in front of him. There was a sharp intake of breath by Baekhyun as the light from outside hits Chanyeol’s face in such a way that he just  _ shines, _ that he looks so ethereal, then:

“I love you.”

It still amazes Baekhyun how he could say those three words without combusting with the love that he feels. 

“Heard you. I love you too.”

Chanyeol groggily opens his eyes, smiling lazily and stretching. Baekhyun’s face reddens and he stands up quickly, taking the breakfast from the table and placing it in bed.

“Made us some breakfast, love.” He beams, proud of his pancakes and happy that he could provide this for the tall guy, now sitting up and looking at the food almost with hearts on his eyes.

“C’mere and let’s eat, love. I’m sure you’re still tired.” Chanyeol says, opening his arms to accommodate Baekhyun’s small figure and encompass it within his embrace.

Baekhyun climbs back in bed, snuggling himself beside Chanyeol as close as he can while feeding his boyfriend with the pancakes that he made and the meal that Kyungsoo graciously prepared for the both of them and thinks,  _ maybe I can get on board with this. _

_ Maybe I can settle down. _

=====

**May 14, 2019**

“Baekhyun? Do you hear me? Baek?” Kyungsoo gently taps on his friend’s hand, bringing Baekhyun to the present. 

“Sorry– what was that again?” Baekhyun asks, running his fingers through his hair and letting it stay there, willing himself to concentrate. As far as he could remember, Kyungsoo was talking about his newest guesting and Baekhyun just zoned out after hearing “ _ so I gave him a piece of pie with the least filling… _ ”.

“Is anything wrong?” Kyungsoo asks, looking at his friend worriedly. “You keep zoning in and out these past few days, I’m slightly worried.”

“I just—” Baekhyun hesitates, knowing full well where their conversation would be going to. He’d say that he just remembered a random memory he had with Chanyeol then his friend would enumerate why he should be moving on with his life and not get stuck with memories of a guy that he chose to let go. Baekhyun has always regretted letting Chanyeol go, but what could he do? Everything has and will always lead back to Chanyeol. He could not help but remember the pain in Chanyeol’s eyes that fateful day they crossed paths again in that park. If only he could explain that Wangeun is not his son. 

He does tell Kyungsoo that he was indeed zoning out after remembering another memory, but surprisingly his friend wasn’t launching into his speech of letting go and learning from your mistakes. Instead, Kyungsoo sips on his coffee and looks outside, looking at the scenery. 

“I’m tired of repeating myself to you, Baek, so if you really want to wallow in…  _ that _ , then there’s absolutely nothing that I can do.” Kyungsoo looks at his friend, now looking apologetic and never meeting his eyes. Since the day that Baekhyun told him about the confrontation, Kyungsoo has noticed a sudden shift with his friend’s behavior. He was no longer cracking up jokes and was always looking off into the distance. Baekhyun became quiet, and he was never that in the first place.

Baekhyun sighs and looks at Kyungsoo’s drink instead of his friend. “I just didn’t expect that I would get hurt like this. That even after all this time, Kyungsoo, after even all this time—”

“I know.” Kyungsoo says, because he knows full well that after Chanyeol, his once date-prolific flirt of a friend suddenly tamed down and stopped. Even after multiple tries, they would end up at Baekhyun’s, coddling up a pack of ice cream and watching random movies while Baekhyun tries to explain that he didn’t really want for Chanyeol to stop chasing him; he just wanted to feel the thrill again. Kyungsoo had to remind him that love is not just a game of push and pull but of compromise, of decisions that shape the rest of the relationship. That it is so rare to find someone willing to accept your flaws and not make a big deal out of it. That it is rare to find someone who would make you feel like it’s always the first of everything. 

Kyungsoo looks outside again, about to sip on his coffee, when his eyes widen at the sight of Chanyeol with a guy, looking for all the world like they were strolling out on a date. Panicking, he looks at Baekhyun, about to warn him not to look outside, but it was too late. Baekhyun had already seen it, and his eyes train towards the tall guy now conversing animatedly with the other, his smile still beautiful as always and his eyes imploring. He was so afraid of this moment to come, of seeing Chanyeol with someone else, and for it to come true was like stabbing Baekhyun’s heart.

“Let’s go.” Kyungsoo says resolutely, standing up and putting on his hat. Baekhyun, meanwhile, still stares outside for a moment before following his friend’s footsteps. 

They were about to open the door when it swings open, revealing Chanyeol and the other guy that he had been with outside.

It took a few seconds for any of the four to talk. “H-hey.” Baekhyun finally says, craning his neck to look at Chanyeol who was in front of him. 

“B-Baekhyun. Didn’t expect to see you here. Hi, Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol greets back and Kyungsoo greets back with a nod. “Junmyeon,” he says to the guy beside him, smiling tightly, “Baekhyun and Kyungsoo.”

“Nice to meet you.” Junmyeon nods to the two of them, then looks back at Chanyeol.

“What…” Baekhyun starts, but shakes his head and gestures inside. “Sorry, I— I didn’t mean to keep you. Nice to meet you, Junmyeon. We better—” He takes a step outside, Kyungsoo right behind him, but Chanyeol calls him out.

“Wait, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol looks over at Junmyeon and whispers at him, probably telling him that he would have to sit down for a moment. Junmyeon obliges and tells Chanyeol something with a knowing and soft smile. As Baekhyun stands by the door looking at this interaction, his heart aches again knowing that once upon a time that was the two of them, and now there could be a possibility that it could never happen again.

Chanyeol walks over to him again and they walk together a few more paces, Kyungsoo telling Baekhyun that he’ll be waiting in the latter’s pad. 

“Nice to see you again.” Chanyeol says softly, stopping on his tracks. Baekhyun looks at him and his heart skips a beat, and now he’s sure. He is still in love with Chanyeol, and now he’s not even sure if he has another chance to let Chanyeol know that. “I’m sorry about how I acted the last time I saw you. I just… I was just in a bad place at that time.”

“It’s fine. I understand.” Baekhyun says sincerely, nodding. “I don’t expect for you to be forgiving.”

“Oh, you know I’m very much forgiving.” Chanyeol tries for a joke, but falls flat. Nobody says a thing for a moment, and then Baekhyun sighs.

“I— you should probably go back to Junmyeon.” Baekhyun smiles slightly, while Chanyeol looks back in the café where Junmyeon is waiting.

“I should probably…” Chanyeol says, then cuts himself off. “I guess, nice to see you again. Say hi to your kid for me. I still remember him, he’s really sweet.” 

“Wangeun isn’t my child, he’s my brother’s.” The smaller of the two immediately counters. 

“O-oh. Well. Say hi to him anyway.” There was no more warmth in his voice, just a casual tone that Baekhyun never associated with Chanyeol. Not until now.

Baekhyun watches as Chanyeol gives him a small smile and turns his back to him, going in the café. In the back of his mind he wants Chanyeol to turn to him, just once. But he doesn’t, and Baekhyun goes back to his pad, getting two packs of ice cream along the way. 

This time, him and Kyungsoo watch the movie together in silence because Baekhyun knows now that he had played the game too far, too much, and now Chanyeol’s moving on, and he isn’t.

=====

**January 20, 2016**

“Hi, Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun is sitting on their bench in the park. They both joke about saying that it’s “their bench” since there was a plaque on the back where it says that it was donated by a Mr. B and P, not disclosing their names, and both would like to think that it signifies Mr. Byun and Park, their surnames. It is also under the shade of a tree, which makes it all the better for them to just claim it as their own.

“Hi Baek, sorry I’m late.” Chanyeol greets jovially, leaning in for a kiss on Baekhyun’s head. He then sits on the bench next to Baekhyun and looks at the playground. “How are you, love?”

“Fine.” Baekhyun says coldly, drinking his iced Americano. Chanyeol looks a little concerned; Baekhyun doesn’t seem fine.

“You don’t look fine.” Chanyeol comments.

“I said I’m fine.” There was finality in Baekhyun’s tone, something that had the other suddenly become nervous. 

Chanyeol knows that this isn’t something new, but he feels scared all the same. He’s always heard this tone whenever Baekhyun is in one of his moods, the one where he asks Chanyeol if they could have space. He hasn’t heard this for a year now, and now a thought hits him like cold water splashed on his face— Baekhyun’s not going to stay. He is never going to stay, and Chanyeol has to succumb to the fact that the only person he ever truly and deeply loved may never be his.

“Let’s go somewhere this weekend, hm?” Chanyeol shoves the fear at the back of his mind. It’s been too long, he thinks, surely Baekhyun just had a rough day. He has been planning on this weekend trip for weeks now; surely they can go?

“I don’t… Yeol you already know where this is going to lead to.”

And just like that, his worst fears are confirmed.

“Are you… Do you want us to…” Chanyeol cannot finish the sentence; he just can’t bear the thought of another breakup with Baekhyun. Another chance gone. More of his time wasted, his friend and family would say to him. He can’t help but think that this time, they might be right: that all the time he spent loving Baekhyun was pointless because for Baekhyun, Chanyeol wasn’t endgame. He was only the start of his game.

Baekhyun sighs. He had actually wanted for their relationship to keep being strong but here he is f*cking that up again, because the truth is that he is bored. At the back of his mind he thought, doesn’t that mean I don’t really love him? Isn’t being bored a sign that you’re stagnant in a relationship? Isn’t that usually the time where someone does something regrettable? But he also can’t help but think, I don’t want to do something that’ll hurt Chanyeol. If I said that I want to break us up again, he might not come back. And I still love him, don’t I?

Baekhyun faces Chanyeol, his eyes imploring for Chanyeol to forgive him, and understand. “That’s not what I meant. I’m just… The truth is, I’m scared, Yeol. I’m scared for the both of us in this relationship. What if you realize that I’m not… worth your time? Not worth for you?”

“W-what do you mean?” Chanyeol says, his face full of worry. He holds the hand of Baekhyun and fits his fingers between the spaces of his boyfriend’s hands.

“Don’t you see I’m f*cked up?” Baekhyun honestly asks. Can’t Chanyeol see that, at least?

The taller of the two chuckles. “That’s why I love you, stupid.”

“No… I’m serious Yeol. I’m f*cked up.” Baekhyun could feel his eyes well up, and just one blink—

Chanyeol sees this and worries more. “Love don’t cry.” He reaches out and wipes Baekhyun’s tears, and the latter moves his face nearer to Chanyeol’s hand.

“I know. I’m not saying that I love that, but that’s part of who you are and I understand that. We don’t have to be jolly and happy all the time because that’s not the whole point of being in the relationship, right?” Chanyeol slowly explains. “We accept each other’s flaws. If you’re scared that we might not work, then I’ll give you a million reasons why we can. I’ll court you every day if I have to, Baekhyun, for you to understand that I want this. I want you in my life.”

Baekhyun cries even harder and leans in to bury his face on Chanyeol’s neck, hugging him tightly. 

=====

**June 20, 2019**

Baekhyun downs his third shot of tequila, and his throat burns. He’s alone, as well. Only the light from the television is in the room blaring out another drama, and Baekhyun could not help but sympathize with the female protagonist who is now crying because she told the male protagonist to go and realize his dream without her.

“Bullsh*t.” Baekhyun whispers, and wipes the tears that are falling to his cheeks and eating the pizza just beside him.

This is not the first time that he has done this since the day that he saw Chanyeol with that Junmyeon. He had been thinking about how good they looked together, how he knew, with just looking, that Junmyeon would not leave Chanyeol with a reason of just because. That Chanyeol deserved someone exactly like Junmyeon. That if it was Baekhyun, he would have broken Chanyeol’s heart again, and would not forgive himself for it. 

That probably he realized that he really did love Chanyeol a little late.

He’s had one too much to drink, so he stumbles to his room and takes his phone, then walks back to the living room, then punches out the number of Chanyeol, at least that which he remembers. He deleted the younger’s number in a fit of drunkenness, by Kyungsoo’s insistence, and now he’s kind of cursing his friend for making him do that.

Chanyeol’s phone rings, and even though the number is unknown, he’d know who is calling any time.

“Baekhyun?” the caller hears from the other side of the line, and his stomach drops.  _ What am I doing?  _ he thinks,  _ he’s moved on. _

“Hey Chanyeol.” He says, or at least he thinks he says, because Chanyeol immediately chuckles.

“Are you drunk?”

“N-no, what made you think that?”

“You’re drawling, stupid.”

“Was I?” Baekhyun suddenly just saw an image of himself, sitting in front of his television, drunk calling his ex-boyfriend and wanting for him to get back together. And suddenly, he realized how stupid he looked. Baekhyun sobered up with this thought and shook his head.

“Sorry, Chanyeol—”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Chanyeol suddenly says, then drops the call. Baekhyun stops for a few seconds then realizes what the other had just said. 

He didn’t move to fix his pad, though. He just leaves it as it is, image be damned. Baekhyun continues watching the drama on his screen, seemingly fixated with the story, and downs another shot more to calm his nerves because Chanyeol is coming over.

A few more minutes passed, and the doorbell rang.

“Baek?” A deep voice called from outside, and Baekhyun walks over to the door, trying to be as sober as he can— but with four shots of tequila, he’s bound to be lightheaded and slightly woozy. He opens the door and uses his arm to anchor himself on the doorframe.

“’Sup, Chan.” He greets so casually.

“Hey.” Chanyeol greets back, concern dripping in his voice. “Are you okay?”

“You keep asking me that.” Baekhyun says, smiling widely. 

“Because you don’t seem fine.” Chanyeol counters, and Baekhyun’s face falls.

“Is that too evident?” Worriedly, he asks.

Chanyeol nods, and slowly reaches out to guide Baekhyun inside his house, but Baekhyun quickly takes his arm back to his side.

“Come on in.”

Chanyeol follows, looking at the state of the pad— clearly, Baekhyun did not fix it up before he came over. Discarded boxes are on the floor, clothes almost making it in the hamper but not quite, and, looking at the fridge, has clearly not done his groceries for quite some time now. Chanyeol’s heart constricts; is this how Baekhyun has been living?

“Welcome, please, sit down. Can I get you anything? Coffee? Juice?” Baekhyun calls from the living room, while Chanyeol comes back from the kitchen holding a glass of water. He lifts it up slightly, making Baekhyun known that he has helped himself.

“Sorry I called so late in the evening.” Baekhyun says, shaking his head. “I don’t know what’s gone to me…”

“It’s fine.” Chanyeol says. “Can I sit down?” He gestures to the couch, and Baekhyun makes room.

“Sure.”

“So.” Chanyeol starts, but Baekhyun cuts him off.

“I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you.” For some reason, Baekhyun just wanted closure. To finish this off, and tell Chanyeol that he still loves him. Whatever the result of this, at least he has told Chanyeol that he’s sorry that he f*cked him up.

“About what?” Chanyeol says, face questioning. “What have you done to me?”

“What do you mean, ‘about what’?” Baekhyun is genuinely baffled; what does this man mean? “About everything. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for pushing and pulling and not believing that you could love me like you did. I’m sorry that you had to endure that pain, and I’m sorry that you even had to encounter that pain. I never deserved you. That much is clear to me. Junmyeon is lucky to have you. But…” Baekhyun steels himself, then opens his mouth—

A soft pair of lips cuts him off, kissing him senseless.

The kiss doesn’t last some few seconds before Baekhyun dislodges his lips, rather reluctantly, from Chanyeol’s.

“Junmyeon has been history for some time now.” Chanyeol says, caressing Baekhyun’s cheek. “You just made me believe that I do love you even more. You made me believe that we could work everything out if we just try. Everyone may tell me I’m a fool, that I’m stupid for loving you, but I’ll gladly be stupid for you anytime.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. I always have.”

=====

**December 8, 2015**

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun says, jumping up and down to counter the cold. 

“Yes?” Chanyeol says, enclosing the smaller inside his embrace and coat. 

“Be my boyfriend?” 

“W-what?”

“Be my boyfriend. Let’s skip all the bullsh*t. Be mine?”

Baekhyun looks up and sees the upside down view of Chanyeol, staring at him.

“Where are you going with this?” Chanyeol asks, tilting his head. Baekhyun is one of those people that he knows cannot be tied down, but with this…

Maybe they have a future together, after all.

“I’m going to… a journey to forever. Come with me?”

“Since when have you been this cheesy?”

“Since I met you, you giant dummy. Now what do you say?” Baekhyun turns around and smiles widely at Chanyeol.

Maybe they do, after all.

“Yes. Yes of course.” Chanyeol grins widely and kisses Baekhyun underneath the star-lit sky. 

And everything was perfect.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

>  **Author's Note:** Thanks for taking the time to read this! One of the few ChanBaek fics I've successfully finished and it's for the ChanBaek Fic Exchange so I'm really happy~ I hope that you're not too confused with the jumping times otl. Comments are loved! ♥ Thank you so much.


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